


I'm thinking of ending things

by AnonymousLove7424



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Modern with Magic, Androgynous Harry Potter, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxiety Disorder, Attempt at Humor, Bisexuality, Breaking the Fourth Wall, Confused Harry Potter, Confused Ron Weasley, Depression, Dissociation, Dorks in Love, Existentialism, Family Issues, Fluff and Angst, Harry Potter is Bad at Feelings, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Long Hair, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Musical References, Neck Kissing, Nihilism, Paranoia, Philosophy, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Psychological Horror, Ron Weasley is a Good Friend, Self Confidence Issues, Smart Harry Potter, Smart Ron Weasley, Social Anxiety, Suicidal Thoughts, Trust Issues, Warm and Fuzzy Feelings
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2021-01-01
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:15:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 702
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27179090
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnonymousLove7424/pseuds/AnonymousLove7424
Summary: Based loosely off the movie with a similar title.Harry Potter is in love with Ron. He is! He even proposed to him!So why does he keep having this thought?Is it even related to Ron?Either way, they're going to the burrow to celebrate. The others are quarantined currently so it'll only be Mrs and Mr Weasley and them.Hopefully all will go well on this trip.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Ron Weasley
Comments: 2
Kudos: 7





	1. Beginning

The thought arrived two days after the two decided to get engaged. 

Harry couldn't get rid of it, no matter how much he wanted it to leave. 

Even now (a cold winter in 2020), the day where they were going to celebrate the engagement with Ron's parents, the thought lingered inside of him.

He's not sure really what it means but he's scared it may be connected to his new engagement. 

He loves Ron though. They were friends for five years before they started to date in 2015. They were dating for five years before he proposed a week or so ago. He loves everything about him. He knows he won't love anyone else but him for the rest of his life. That's why Harry proposed. 

The thought kept coming back to him though. 

No matter how hard he tried he couldn't stop the thought from coming.

Did someone plant it in his head? 

Was he secretly reading Ron's mind? Was Ron not ready? Does he not love Harry anymore?

Could it be his own thoughts about life?

Harry didn't know. 

All he knew then was that the radio lost signal, a few minutes after they entered the countryside. Ron's parents were another half an hour away and without the music there to distract him, the thought might come back. 

And in the silence, the thought nearly took ahold of him. So he decided to interrupt it before it could.

"Car rides are boring as shit." Harry said, crossing his arms.

"You wanted to drive to my parents." Ron grinned, his eyes not leaving the road. Harry dramatically groaned.

"I wanted to see what the muggle equivalent of going to your house was like." He uncrossed his arms. "Nice scenery, but I'm starting to have depressing inner monologues. I need stimulation."

Ron chuckled. "Well....let's play a game."

"Like....?"

Ron was silent for a moment. "Well, we can play never have I ever?"

"But you've been there every time I've had interesting things happen to me?" Ron was there during every dare he had, heard millions of stories of interesting things from when he wasn't there, was there on every Voldemort shenanigan, was his first kiss, knew about most of his embarrassing moments due to him being there, etc.

"Nothin interesting happened to you before Hogwarts?" Ron questioned in an amused tone.

"Not unless you think being starved is interesting." Harry snapped in a mean tone before he could stop himself.

Ron flinched, guilt (why is he feeling guilty? I didn't want you to feel guilty it's not your fault I'm so sorry-) and worry etching his face.

Harry felt horrible for ruining the good mood. He always seemed to do that, didn't he? Bring up his trauma, make whatever was happening all about him, and make the person he's with stuck with this feeling of being unhelpful and sad and worried?

He sighed and looked back out the window to avoid looking at his fiance's concerned face.

'I'm thinking of ending things,' the thought that wouldn't leave him whispered to Harry, making him feel uneasy and nervous, as he watched snow start to fall.


	2. Chapter Two: Short Chapter.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well howdy 2021! If you are worse than 2020, I will be very upset. 
> 
> I had this in my drafts for a while. I figured I could post this. 
> 
> (Warnings: hints at some kinky stuff.)

"Are you okay?" Ron asked him. 

Harry snapped out if his trance. "Hmm? Oh, yeah. I'm fine." 

Ron didn't look entirely convinced but didn't say anything about that. 

Not wanting it to be quiet again, he told him, "It's really chilly." To illustrate his point, he shivered.

"I told you to get a bigger jacket." Ron told him with a smile. 

"I like my poncho." Harry said. 

"But it's cold outside." Ron replied. 

In his head, he thought of the song and quickly hummed the line, "I have to get away."

Ron pulled over to the side of the road, took off his seat belt, and reached in the back.

"Handcuffs, towels, lube, leather boots...." He mumbled as he moved stuff around in the back.

"That was a fun trip." Harry commented with a grin. 

"We should take another one soon. Ah! Here it is!"

Ron pulled out a jacket from the back and put it on Harry. He then went back in his seat, putting his seatbelt back on, and then went back to driving again.


End file.
